there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
