If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
