I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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