If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
