it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
