I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
