So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
