didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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