She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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