can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He felt like a one man threesome
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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