I wanna passion pit in your ass
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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