I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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