Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
