It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
