I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
