Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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