On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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