We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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