i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
