so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
