They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
