i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
