i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
