The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
