no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't think brook has ever known best
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
