from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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