bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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