Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
