R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
