the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
