you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
How does it feel to date your dad?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
