Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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