Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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