Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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