With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
we're so committed to being not committed
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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