that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
