Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
