I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
