i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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