The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
