i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
why is half of my head shaved?
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