So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
