I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Randomize
