I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
When did angry sex become our thing?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
