i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
