I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
