We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
