I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize