between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
