A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
