i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
